Unraveling Shame: A Somatic Path to Freedom and Self Love

Shame is one of the most misunderstood emotions we experience. Most people confuse it with guilt, but they are nothing alike. Guilt says, “I did something wrong.” Shame says, “I am something wrong.” Guilt is corrective. Shame is corrosive. Guilt guides you back into alignment with who you are. Shame convinces you that who you are is the problem. And the wildest part is this: shame never attaches itself to your flaws - it attaches itself to your power. It wraps around the parts of you that were never fully understood or supported: your voice, your intuition, your boundaries, your desires, your truth, your depth. Shame grows where something luminous in you was made to feel “too much.”

I used to think shame only came from mistakes I made, but one of the deepest layers of shame I ever carried had nothing to do with my actions. It was the shame I felt after my husband died - shame from his addiction, his choices, the double life he lived, the pieces I had to hold together alone, and the ways I tried to protect everyone around me while silently drowning. I carried shame for loving someone who hurt me. Shame for not seeing things sooner. Shame for having to explain what happened. Shame for being the one left behind. Shame for waking up in a life I didn’t choose. None of it was my fault, yet that’s what shame does - it makes you feel responsible for things you had no control over. It collapses your sense of worth and makes you question your strength, your intuition, even your right to feel devastated.

Shame resides in the body, not just the mind. It tightens the chest, curls the spine, knots the stomach, constricts the throat, and dulls the energy field. It is a nervous system reaction, a survival mechanism, often rooted in early childhood, trauma, or ancestral lineage. Our bodies hold onto these patterns to protect us when we were too small or powerless to stand up for ourselves. The irony is that as adults, these same protective patterns often limit our growth, our self-expression, and our ability to fully embody our truth. Recognizing shame as a physical, energetic experience rather than just a mental one is the first step to liberation.

One of the most transformative ways to release shame is through somatic practice, because shame cannot be healed through thought alone. 

Try this: find a quiet space and stand barefoot on the earth. Place one hand over your heart and the other over your lower belly. Begin slow, intentional breathing, feeling the rise and fall of your body. As you exhale, add sound - a sigh, a groan, a shake, whatever allows your body to release tension. Imagine the shame as a dark energy that can flow out of your body and into the ground, returning to the Earth to be transmuted. You can even imagine roots growing from your feet, anchoring you as you let go. Visualize warmth and light filling the space left behind, reclaiming your body, your energy, and your voice. Repeat affirmations like, “I am safe to take up space. I am worthy. I am enough,” letting the vibrations of your own words penetrate the tissues that once held tension, guilt, or fear. Over time, this practice retrains your nervous system to trust itself, to hold more space, and to release generational and personal shame that no longer serves you.

Shame is often karmic in nature - it can come from experiences you endured in past lives, or from ancestral wounds carried silently through the lineage. Some of the deepest shame we feel may have nothing to do with our actions in this lifetime. It may be echoing patterns of limitation, punishment, or silencing from those who came before us. Recognizing this allows us to approach shame with compassion instead of self-condemnation. It reminds us that while we inherit energetic imprints, we are not bound to live by them. We can be the generation that breaks cycles rather than perpetuates them.

Another layer of shame is relational: the subtle and overt ways people have tried to diminish us, betray us, or invalidate our experiences. We feel shame when others’ choices are projected onto us, when love is withheld, or when we internalize the message that being seen fully is dangerous. Yet, in this very relational pain lies alchemy. Every time you set boundaries, speak your truth, or reclaim your energy after betrayal or loss, you transform shame into power. You teach yourself that your presence, your voice, and your emotions are sacred, and no one else’s perception can define your value.

Shame also has a profound connection to our emotions and psychic self. The deeper we feel - like Scorpio moons or highly sensitive souls - the more shame can surface because our hearts and bodies process energy on levels that others might not even notice. We feel not only our own shadows but the echoes of others’ projections and societal conditioning. And when we allow ourselves to feel, to release, and to transmute these energies consciously, we step into clarity, sovereignty, and embodied power.

The journey through shame is not linear. It is a spiral - circling deeper into our truth, peeling away layers of inherited pain, self-criticism, and unprocessed trauma. Each tear we shed, each breath we release, each somatic practice we commit to, dismantles the false narrative that shame has constructed. Through this process, our nervous system recalibrates, our body remembers safety, our energy field expands, and our soul reclaims the power that shame once held hostage.

Ultimately, shame is not your enemy. It is a guide, a mirror, and a teacher. It shows us where our power lies, where our courage is hidden, and where our truth has been silenced. When we learn to move through shame with awareness, self-compassion, and somatic release, we transform it into fuel for growth, clarity, and deep alignment. You do not have to hide, shrink, or apologize for being who you are. Your tears are sacred. Your voice is sacred. Your presence is sacred. And the moment you begin to honor that, shame loses its grip and your life unfolds with freedom, authenticity, and unapologetic self-love.

Practical Rituals to Release Shame

1. Somatic Shake & Ground: Stand barefoot, take a deep breath, and gently shake your arms, legs, and torso. Visualize the shame leaving your body and sinking into the Earth. Feel yourself rooting into the ground as your energy rebalances.

2. Tear & Voice Release: Allow yourself to cry freely. Speak aloud affirmations such as, “I am enough. I am safe. I reclaim my power.” Your voice and tears carry the energetic weight out of your system.

3. Mirror Work: Look into a mirror and softly say your name, acknowledging yourself with love. Affirm, “I honor all parts of me - even the parts I once hid in shame.” Let your eyes connect with your soul’s reflection.

4. Journaling & Witnessing: Write down moments when you felt shame - from childhood, relationships, or loss. Then, write a compassionate letter to yourself, reframing the experience and reclaiming your power.

5. Breath & Energy Visualization: Sit quietly, place your hands over your heart and belly, and breathe deeply. On each exhale, imagine dark or heavy energy leaving your body. On each inhale, draw in light, warmth, and self-acceptance.

Remember: shame is not your identity. It is energy, and like all energy, it can be transformed, realigned, and returned to its source. Each time you face it with awareness, compassion, and intentional release, you strengthen your energetic sovereignty. You become a clearer vessel for joy, intuition, love, and purpose.

Sending you so much love, 

Jean 

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